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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27380896">Silly Girl</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoCalGirl28/pseuds/SoCalGirl28'>SoCalGirl28</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Glee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 18:34:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,663</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27380896</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoCalGirl28/pseuds/SoCalGirl28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Someone convinces Rachel that staying on Broadway is in her best interests.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Rachel Berry/Jesse St. James</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Silly Girl</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Another night, another show, Rachel sighed to herself as she removed her wig and placed it on the bodiless mannequin. It was all she ever wanted, all she had dreamed about for her entire life. She was on Broadway, she was playing one of her three dream roles and she arguably had it all. And for some reason, she felt like running. </p><p>A knock came at her door just as she started removing her makeup and startled Rachel. She pulled her robe tighter around her body self consciously. </p><p>“Yes?” She called.</p><p>The door opened a smidge and she heard the voice of the stage manager. “There’s a man here to see you. He says he’s an old friend.”</p><p>“Ex-boyfriend actually.” She heard the voice of Jesse St. James correct Amelia. </p><p>She rolled her eyes. “You can let him in, Amy. He’s harmless.” She turned back to the mirror and resumed her makeup removal routine.</p><p>She watched in the mirror as Jesse walked through the door and take a seat on the couch behind her, sprawling confidently on it with a small smirk like he owned it. Rachel forced herself not to react to him but she felt butterflies in her stomach that she hadn’t felt since Finn had died. Her heart had always been torn between the two of them. Finn would always be her first love and he would always have a piece of her heart but she knew that he would want her to be happy, even if it was with Jesse.</p><p>“Broadway lead at nineteen.” He commented with a smile. “I knew you were going to be a big hit the moment you got here.”</p><p>“So did you just come to see me?” She tried to sound cavalier but a hint of curiosity got through and she cursed herself. She could play Fanny Brice on stage eight times a week with no problems but when faced with lying to an ex, she failed to convince even herself.   </p><p>“You know I did.” He said quietly, “You were amazing, Rachel.”</p><p>“Thank you. I’m glad you caught me up there.” </p><p>She cursed herself as a bit of her uncertainty crept out of her voice. She could hope that Jesse didn’t notice it but just like she could read him like a book, he could read her.</p><p>Jesse tilted his head slightly in confusion and caught her eyes in the mirror. “What do you mean?” </p><p>They stared silently at each other for a few seconds before she broke eye contact and said. “I got an offer to do a TV show. In Los Angeles.” </p><p>“What?!” Jesse exclaimed, sitting up straight. “You can’t just leave Funny Girl, leave Broadway, New York. The talk of the town is that you’re going to be nominated for the Tony.”</p><p>“But this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.” She insisted.</p><p>“So is <em>Funny Girl</em>. Do you really think they’ll revive it again in our lifetime?”<br/>
Jesse said. “And even if they do and you were still the right age, do you think they’d give you a shot at it again?</p><p>Rachel hesitated. She didn’t really know why she had the urge to leave the Broadway stage. </p><p>“I just...” She trailed off as she tried to figure out why she felt like running from the stage she was born to command. </p><p>“Rachel, no.” Jesse said exasperatedly. “Do. Not. Do. It.”  </p><p> “Why shouldn’t I?” She asked, annoyed at his contradictions to her idea. </p><p>Jesse sighed. Rachel always was stubborn and like to rebel at what she was told to do. “Broadway is all you ever wanted, all you ever worked for. Why would you give it all up for a stupid TV show?”</p><p>She remained silent. </p><p>“Rachel, if you leave Broadway for TV in the middle of a run and break your contract, you will <em>ruin</em> your reputation in the business.” He explained. “It’s something that even you, the diva you are, can’t pull off yet.”</p><p>Rachel bit her lip as she realized that he was right. She would be lucky to get a job in any part of show business if she broke her contract. She would be labeled as an unreliable flight risk and no one would want to work with her. </p><p>“Is this an early mid-life crisis thing?” Jesse questioned with a raised eyebrow. “Where is this coming from? One of the first things we ever talked about together were our dream roles and one of yours was Fanny Brice.”</p><p>Rachel sighed heavily and laid down the moist towelette that was tinged with her foundation. She couldn’t bring herself to turn around and look at him. </p><p>“I don’t know.” She rubbed her ring finger idly and Jesse’s eyes caught the movement. </p><p>“Is this about Finn?” He pressed. “I heard what happened. I’m so sorry, Rachel.”</p><p>She whipped her head around behind her, looking Jesse straight on and snapped. “It’s not about him.”</p><p>“Really? Are you sure?”</p><p>“It’s not.” She insisted against the emotions that were threatening to take over. She had always been a stubborn one. “I’m just... scared, I guess. This is so much and I don’t know if I’m ready for <em>all</em> of it.”</p><p>“Rachel.” Jesse sighed softly. </p><p>“I thought I was.” She continued on quickly. “I thought I could do this and go to NYADA, have it all. But I can’t.” </p><p>“Rachel. You are the strongest, most talented and amazing person I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.” Jesse said. “You can do this.”</p><p>Rachel broke down crying. She hadn’t felt like that ambitious, talented girl since Finn had died. His death had turned her from a star to a black hole. She could act like she was healing in front of her friends and family but she wasn’t sure the bleeding wound would ever heal.</p><p>“Hey.” Jesse got up quickly from the couch, knelt down by her chair and pulled her into a hug. Her tears quickly soaked through his thin dress shirt. “It’s okay.”</p><p>“I just thought that Finn would be here with me when I got my big break.” She sobbed. “And all this is reminding me of is that he’s not here.”</p><p>“Where’s Kurt? Where are your dads, Mister Schue?” He asked softly into her hair as he cuddled her close.</p><p>Jesse could see what this was. She had no one there for her now that Finn was gone. She was left to deal with the all the pressure of being a Broadway star without someone to lean on and to motivate her. </p><p>“I’m fine.” She said as she pulled away and swiped at her tears. “Mister Schue and Miss Pillsbury got married and they had a son.” She gave a watery smile. “Daniel Finn.” </p><p>He smiled softly down at her and wiped a fallen tear from her cheek. He had never stopped loving her. He tried, really tried. But it always came back to her. </p><p>“That’s great. But who’s here to support <em>you</em>?”</p><p>She sniffed. “I’m a big girl, Jesse. I can take care of myself.”</p><p>Jesse held his hands up in surrender, “And I’m not saying you’re not and that you can’t take care of yourself. I just think what you’re really missing about Finn is his unwavering support. You haven’t had that since he died, have you?” He asked softly.</p><p>“No.” She shook her head dismissively. “I don’t need it.”</p><p>“Rachel, everyone needs support. Tell you what, you’re given house seats for your family right?”</p><p>“Yeah.” Rachel said, confused. </p><p>“I’m assuming they aren’t used a lot, with your dads in Ohio and Kurt with his own life.”</p><p>“I mean, they’re used occasionally.”</p><p>“How about I come every night?” He suggested. “I’ll sit there and I’ll be there for you whether it’s a good show or not.”</p><p>Rachel looked up at him. “You would do that for me?”</p><p>“Rachel, you know it’s only ever been you.” He said softly. “I don’t think I could love anyone but you and I want to be there for you. I want to be the person you lean on and come to in times of need.”</p><p>“Jesse.” Rachel held back a sob. No one had said words like that to her since Finn had died. “I’m not sure-“</p><p>“I know you’re still mourning Finn.” Jesse interrupted. “We’ll take it slow. Just let me be your friend, let me support you in this. I want to see you get the Tony you deserve from your Broadway debut.”</p><p>Rachel laughed. “It’s really rare for a newcomer to win. And I haven’t even been nominated yet.”</p><p>“Oh please.” Jesse scoffed. “We all know you’re going to win.”</p><p>“I would really like it if you would come to my shows.” Rachel said with a small smile. “And I appreciate your unconditional support.” </p><p>Jesse smiled. “No problem.”</p><p>Letting Jesse back into her life turned out to be the best decision she had made since Finn had died. He gave her something that she hadn’t truly realized she had been missing. Someone to lean on.</p><p>Rachel did end up being nominated for Best Lead Actress in a Musical. She took Jesse as her date for the Awards, their first real date since they had broken up. She didn’t win and she wasn’t surprised. She was a rising star but also a major newcomer. The show itself did win Best Revival, which soothed her loss.</p><p>She left <em>Funny Girl</em> about two months later, having spent six months in the role, to focus on finishing NYADA. Jesse had tried to convince her to join a show he had been cast in but she had declined. She felt like she needed to see to her education first and foremost. </p><p>It worked in her favor. Just five years later she was standing on stage accepting her Tony for Best Lead Actress. Her life was as perfect as it could be. Sure, her dads had gotten divorced and she would always miss Finn but she couldn’t have asked for a happier life.</p>
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